San Andreas


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 San Andreas

It could have been called “2012 – 2.0” showing what happened to the people on the ground of Los Angeles after the mega earthquake struck. Whereas in “2012” the destruction is mostly seen from the air as the characters fly away stupendously, “San Andreas” focuses on the people on the ground, trapped in the crumbling cities and trying to escape.

Released last year, a bit too soon after 2012, but I guess audiences wanted to see more of their favourite Californian destinations being ravaged by a shift in the tectonic plate under the San Andreas Fault which actually could happen one day. Starring Dwayne “Not Credited As The Rock Anymore But He Will Always Be Known As The Rock” Johnson – pause for breath – this film is your typical, straightforward blockbuster about Armageddon, but it’s not the end of the world, but it could be because the disaster inflicted here could have repercussions for the rest of the world, so maybe there we will be a “San Andreas 2: After Shocks” and then somehow tie in with “2012” for a crossover film and then actually be called “Grand Tectonic Auto-Destruct: San Andreas 2.0 – The Rebuild”. No? Okay, enough with the title mash ups; now I’ll move on with The Rock. Oh sorry, Dwayne Johnson.

Things are rocky from the beginning, excuse the pun. As our main character finds himself caught between a rock and a hard place. Shit, I did it again. Sorry. As the San Andreas Fault shifts like scientists predicted it always would, the state ofCalifornia will rumble as rocks (last time I promise) will fall and buildings will collapse. Dwayne Johnson plays an ace helicopter pilot for the Los Angeles Fire Service, while looking like a total Rock Star (no seriously, that was the last time) with shades and muscles that rip through his shirt. After the Hoover Dam is ravaged by a quake measuring 9.1 on the Richter Scale, a scientist no one ever listened to finally gets listened to, as his data and research techniques can now predict earth quakes before they happen. And things go from bad to worse.

From the dam, to Los Angeles and along the fault line to San Francisco, the sunny state of California will inflict so much damage that it becomes unrecognisable. But instead of getting out of the city and the centre of danger, our characters walk right into the middle of it. However, that’s apparently the safest place to be as every other escape route, including The Golden Gate Bridge, is a target for disaster.

Starring many of the same special effects you saw in 2012, San Andreas is not ground breaking in anyway… oh, HaHa, I just realised what I wrote there… but it’s not a total bust either. Damn I’m on fire here. Proving he’s not a bad actor but not a really good one either, Dwayne Johnson does a fine job as a brave fireman and devoted father, trying to reach his daughter, marooned in the ruins of San Fran. Along for the ride is his ex-wife, who he still gets along well with. Together, they will scour the cracked streets and fallen buildings for their daughter, who is actually quite resourceful and will do everything her father would, which means it doesn’t take much for them to find each other.

But along the way they will have one narrow escape after another, as the city literally falls apart around them. There’s some light humour thrown in to balance out the mayhem, but you won’t crack up laughing. Okay seriously, I am not doing this intentionally. With a blockbuster as clichéd as this, the tongue in check jokes come flying thick and fast. And it was great to see our very own Kylie Minouge have a brief cameo, playing totally against type in an early scene. How she landed this role is a mystery, but that’s show biz for you.

Ummm…. What else can I say? It’s good I guess. Entertaining enough. Not overcomplicated. Somewhat believable and focusing on characters that are a little more developed than your usual blockbuster boneheads. It’s about family reunification amidst a large scale natural disaster. You won’t be bored as you watch it, but you won’t exactly remember it forever once it’s over. Just an entertaining 100 minutes or so. Checkout the trailer  below. Rock 'n' Roll ;-)


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